February 2012
82 posts
1 tag
A man, no older than thirty, and a woman, no younger than eighty, walk along the same road I walk to get to the hospital where my father is. I’ve seen them three times now. They walk slowly, her hand tucked into the crook of his elbow. He wears a Gap hooded sweatshirt, has a full beard and wears sunglasses. She wears a wool crocheted cap with a visor, a white coat, and red lipstick. He could...
hazy cosmic jive: What Lot's Wife Would Have Said... →
eating-poetry:
Do you remember when we met in Gomorrah? When you were still beardless, and I would oil my hair in the lamp light before seeing you, when we were young, and blushed with youth like bruised fruit. Did we care then what our neighbors did in the dark?
When our first…
Dad is doing well.
He’s in a lot of pain, but he’s medically stable and healing just fine. I just hate hearing him cry out in pain, hate not being able to do anything but call the nurse and wait for the pain meds to kick in. He’s so sweet, he really tries not to let me see his pain, and I’ve been telling him it’s okay to admit when it hurts. My father’s daughter to the core, I do...
Except I don’t really have a recording like that, other than the one burned into my brain right now.
Ask me why I don't believe in a benevolent,...
I’ll play you a recording of my father’s cries of pain. Then you go ahead and tell me why you do. I’m sure your argument will be quite compelling.
Surgery went well.
When I left this afternoon, Dad was awake and alert. He ate a little and drank some water, and agreed to be nice and do what the nurses said. My heartbeat and breathing seem to be returning to normal. I’m just getting home and trying to decide: nap, then run, or run, then nap?
Now I want to adopt all the big-eyed, big-eared, black kitties in the world and cuddle with all of them forever.
When Dad’s pain meds kicked in tonight, he was trying to talk to me, and I said “Are you tired, Daddy?” and he said, “Yeah. I think I’m just gonna sleep.” and closed his eyes and fell asleep. It was so adorable. Also, I’ll have two of whatever he’s having.
If you have good juju to spare...
The surgery is scheduled for tomorrow but I don’t know what time yet. The nurse is going to call my brother tonight when she has the schedule. Dad’s creatine (?) levels are down significantly from yesterday, very close to normal range (normal is 0.5-1.4, Dad’s at 1.6 right now). He has to get through this, and he has to be okay, because he’s my Daddy and I need him. Good...
ttt
I really wish I had just one or two friends who lived really, really, really nearby because I’ve been procrastinating having dinner because I don’t want to eat alone yet again and I don’t want to go too far and I don’t want to ask anyone to come all the way here for just a quick dinner and I have to sleep here tonight because I work in the morning and I don’t want...
Oh god I said it here.
And now I can’t breathe.
tt
I’m really worried about my dad being able to recover from this surgery. They canceled it again pending results of an echocardiogram and kidney tests. His kidney function is not good enough for the surgery right now and they have him on IV fluids and sodium bicarbonate to try to bring it up. I’m losing my mind but I’m afraid to actually say out loud how scared I am because I...
Mile 1: 10:38.
Mile 2: 10:37.
Mile 3: 10:12.
Proud of this. It shows I can consistently pace myself, and feel challenged without pushing too hard.
2 miles, 19:56. Fuck running.
My ex-roommate just sent me a text letting me know his father passed away on February 7. I’m probably going to try to stop by sometime in the next few weeks with a card or something.
My Dad is in a hospital that it takes me about an hour and a half to get to, including a forty minute walk from the bus stop to the hospital. He’s in there for a minor, routine procedure, a skin graft, and he was evaluated last week and found to be a good candidate. I figured this “evaluation” meant they’d tested his heart and determined it stable enough, but the doctor at...
About a mile and a half in tonight, I stopped. Couldn’t go on. Why?
OK Go’s “While You Were Asleep”.
Can’t you love me, can’t you love me, how I want… please?
You Know, It's Funny...: Please read - Thanks. →
2yellows:
Julie could use our help.
As you know, Julie is currently undergoing radiation treatments to her brain for stage IV breast cancer. She has been fighting this battle since April 2010 and has shared it with us along the way. She will continue chemotherapy and whatever treatments are needed…
I seriously can’t believe I used to run sixty miles a week. WHO AM I?!
I’ve run 18.48 miles in February so far. With 15 days left in the month, and no runs the first 7 days, I’m setting an arbitraryish goal of passing 50 miles this month. I feel like I can do 60, but I want these first few weeks back in it to still be relaxed and more about enjoying the miles than piling them on.
3 tags
tt
I still love Valentine’s Day. This is my third February 14 as a free agent, and it’s almost sure not to be my last. I don’t begrudge couples their coupleness, and frankly, I think the whole “you should show the people you love that you love them every day” argument against Valentine’s Day is just as cynical and comes from just as mean a place as the “I...
“I need to tell you that you never, ever have a right to touch a woman you...”
– thing I didn’t get the tits to say tonight until it was too late
Maybe my run was so sluggish and difficult because I only consumed about 100 calories today?
1 tag
OH HAI RUNNER'S HIGH
Nice to have you back. You’re looking all endorphiny. 2.77 miles in 28:27.
2 tags
