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After a long, shitty day looking at rentals and riding buses,
I went home for about an hour and then left to take two more buses to see Dad. I am walking to the nursing home right now and seriously, seriously thinking about just turning around and going home again without seeing him because I have absolutely nothing to say to him and no energy to try to come up with some way to make it a decent visit for him. I can’t just plaster a smile on my face and pretend everything is okay and tell him stupid stories like I’ve been doing. The scariest thing about today is how very far I still am from rock bottom.
